Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Wholesome Molson
Because I'm listed in the phonebook as a business I often get phone calls from OTHER businesses or charity organisation that wants money from me. In the old days this would infuriate me and I would get really mad at the caller. The reason was probably that they usually managed to make me buy something - and that's what made me mad.
Today I just chat with them calmly, and inform them at a very early stage that I simply don't want to buy anything.
you can be nice - you can be good - you can be: A Wholesome Molson...

Saturday, July 26, 2003

In dreams, always in dreams...
I don't dream at night.
It's been this way for five or six years and I don't know how it started. Maybe it was because I used to get these nightmares and maybe some kind of safety-switch in my brain shut off the dreams to keep me from having the nightmares (in case you're wondering: No, I've stopped smoking that!)
When I tell people about this they say that I probably still have the dreams, I just don't remember them.
But there was one exception: A while back I dreamed I saw a flying eagle with it's wings spread out. The next day I learned a Space Shuttle had exploded in flight.
Now, that was wierd!

Thursday, July 24, 2003

"..Why did you stop painting?, you were quite good at it..."

they don't have a soundtrack...

Monday, July 21, 2003

(imagine the soothing sounds of an 1920s band playing in the "Hawaiian" style - lots of banjos and harmony singing...)

I'd like to beeeeee
On the Waikikeeeeee

Just you and meeeee
Down on the Waikikeeeee
Attention all readers!
Since I announced the closing of this blog my mailbox has been overloaded with mail from frustrated fans- a few samples:

Dear Mr. Grahn: For over ten years my husband has suffered from impotence, but when I began reading to him your testoterone fueled comments on modern life - the powers of his youth returned! and we are now a happy couple again
thankyou! XXXX

Mr Grahn: How can you stop this blog? in my country we do not have the freedom of speach you have in your country, we are shut out from the world of free information! For many months the only way our underground resistance group could find news of what was going on outside the borders of our oppressive and totalitarian dictatorship - was your blog! Do not silence your voice of freedom! please go on carrying your torch of knowledge forward through the darkness! and give hope to my people!
Sincerely XXXX

Dear Lennard We are class 2C from XXXX school and we just want to say that we all started crying when we learned your blog was closing down. Please go on with your blog and keep us from crying.

Mr. Grahn: Here at the institute of Media and Communications Studies at XXXX University we are alarmed by the fact that your blog stops. What are we going to tell the students already preparing exams based on your brilliant writings?! or what about your upcoming lecture on handheld physiology and the internet? in the name of Science: do NOT close your blog!

Dear Mr. Grahn: How can you stop this blog, when the time of falling cherry-blossoms has just ended and we are entering the time of the smiling face. Here at the monastry we send every day a thousand prayers in the hope that you will change your mind. You are to blog - it is so written!

Naturally this sort of response from readers gives food for thought. And my answer is this: Yes - I will think about it ...

Saturday, July 19, 2003

Goodnight Saigon
I've decided to quit blogging and this blog will close down permanently as of today.
I don't know if it's possible with, but I plan to have all content removed by the 1'st of August, and the site closed.

Well; I just can't find the time and inspiration to run this on a daily basis, and if postings are to far apart I guess this blog becomes too loose and un-interesting.
Thanks to all who stopped by, wrote a comment or what ever. Apologies to the feet I stepped on, for the mud I threw etc. and you will be able to read a full account of the whole experience in my upcoming auto-biography: "Yes, I was a thirty-something Blogger and that didn't get me laid either".
signing out, and happy blogging to your all!


Wednesday, July 16, 2003

I Kant get started...
I guess it's a classical dilemma:
What to do - you feel you don't quite fit in and you basically have two options:
-Adapt yourself and your ways to the surrounding norms and you will fit in and be accepted (hopefully...the Pavlovian approach: good doggie gets a snackie, bad doggie gets no snackie - this also leaves all the hard work to you but the basic control of your situation somewhere else)
-Go somewhere where you fit in the way you are...
(this leaves out the hard work and gives the control to you, except...)

You have to first find out what you are in order to find the right place to go!
(and then we're back to the hard work...)

-And that's the beauty of blogging: any crackpot with a modem can clog up the web with home grown philoshophy like this! yowsa, yowsa, yowsa!

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

Which way to Le station centrale, bitte.
Back from my day as a tourist in Copenhagen. It's funny how you can actually do that; be a tourist in your own city because there's plenty of things happening; I rode the subway to Amager - and spotted a middle aged crossdresser - they seem to hit the streets during the summer, I saw one last summer too - took the S-train to Noerrebro Station- that part of Copenhagen is now so ethnic it's almost like going to an arabic country - Walla, Walla - walked around Oersterbro - that's a bit like going to Paris - and so on. Bought the homeless peoples magazine from a guy with a huge sore on his forehead who wished me a good evening (it was 1 pm..) And just as I returned home it started to rain - from a cloudless sky!?. A Nice day for sure.
Alright I give up! I'm going out there: Out into the sun, out to the tourists, the drunkards, the lunatics who go crazy in the heat, the smog, the rollerscaters with perfect bodies, the 5.2 billion pairs of designer sun glasses that I can't wear because I use spectacles, the..., the... well: the girls in miniskirts...Hmm - should I bring the polaroid? no I'm not that kind of guy!
I'm bringing the handycam.

Monday, July 14, 2003

Presidents on a sinking ship:

Ford says: "What do we do?"
Bush says: "Man the lifeboats!"
Reagan says: "What lifeboats?"
Carter says: "Women first!"
Nixon says: "Screw the women!"
Clinton says: "You think we have time?"

(get a trunk load of 'em at Kelly's bar jokes)
Knock, knock...said the wurst...
Seems like nobody reads blogs anymore, or maybe it's just because they're out in the sun, or vacationing in places that don't have internet access. Either way:
(provocation, it usually works...)

Sunday, July 13, 2003

R.I.P Georges Pichard 1920-2003 (died June 7´th)

Not as well known here in Denmark (that’s the country Lars Von Trier comes from…) as artists like Milo Manara, Moebius and Varenne - Georges Pichard became a champion of the erotic comic book. Graduating from l`Ecole des Arts Appliqués in Paris in the 1940’s Georges Pichard worked for many years as a commercial illustrator and cartoonist in numerous magazines in his native France. In the sixties and seventies he collaborated with George Wolinski on the series “Paulette” which presented a Brigitte Bardot-like heroine who just couldn’t help herself from getting into situations where she repeatedly lost parts of -or all of- her clothes. Typical of Pichard’s work he also threw in a few observations about bourgeois society and Christianity and his sense of humour.
In the eighties and nineties Pichard started publishing more sinister work on the S&M-theme that is not for the faint-hearted; like the masterpiece Marie Gabrielle d´Saint-Eutrope, MCPM, The Countess in Red, and many more.
His total production of comic books is well over fifty volumes many of which are today long out of print and fetch high prices on auctions.
Little of his work is published in English, except Marie Gabrielle, his treatment of The Kama Sutra, his interpretation of Bizet’s Carmen and a few more, but his books are available in both French, Italian, Spanish and German.
A great artist, and if there is a heaven for him just read his books to see what it would probably look like…

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

"Die sprachen and die Ytzen..."
No more Danish, it takes too much time to write in both languages and besides:
Danish - ain't that something you eat?..
New York, New York...
Since I saw the Suicide concert I've had this burning desire to go to New York. And now that I've finished reading a biography about Jean Michel Basquiat this feeling has only grown stronger.
Funny though, because I went there in 1995 and I didn't like it that much. Too claustrophobic I thought, not a tree in sight between JFK Airport and the waterfront - except Central Park of course- and the only place I felt comfortable was East Village. That was a nice place though and going to Harlem was great too. In fact what impressed me the most about Harlem was the fact that music was coming at you from everywhere, from shops, cars driving by, people carrying ghetto blasters etc. And not just any music: this was hardcore political rap-music talking about black consciousness, black history etc. etc. During our visit my party and I went to a ladies clothes shop to look at some shoes (Harlem is a heaven for the shoe buyer, and they come relatively cheap too) It was the kind of shop you usually find in small towns all over the world, they sold ladies clothes for all ages from 0 to 103 and even in this shop the radio was turned up loud with a program telling the story of The Black Panther Party. Food for thought while we strolled down Malcolm X Boulevard carefully avoiding eye contact with the bypassing Ice-T look-alikes. Still there was nothing hostile about going to Harlem, and after we saw some white people who apparently lived there we relaxed and stayed there for a while, but Harlem will make one thing clear to you: this is the black neighbourhood. Off course I thought about going to The Bronx as well, given the stories about this really hard part of town, but after reading an official New York Bus planner which marked off safe places to get off in The Bronx, and hearing in the news that two 10-year olds were accidentally shot by gunmen riding BMX-bikes I decided I'd had my walk on the wild side. I was only there for five days and during that time, there was one more shootout - a bank robbery that went wrong-, a plane crash, and the New York fish market burned down - Mob-involvement strongly suspected...
I'll be back.

Monday, July 07, 2003

The Worlds Dullest Blog
Fascinating (and: it is...)

Verdens Kedeligste Blog
Utroligt! (og: det er den...)
Dobbel tænkning
Jeg har besluttet mig for at skrive paa dansk Lennard: hvad med de horder af international læsere der tørster efter dine insigtsfulde kommentarer og vittige bemærkninger?!?!?
Jeg hører frustrationen, jeg føler smerten, og siger saaledes:

Double Thinking
I've decided to go back to writing in danish.. but Lennard, what about the scores of international readers craving your insightfull comments and witty remarks?!?!
I hear the frustration, I sense the pain - and sayeth:
I did a Google search on "Don't ask me I only work here" and this came up: quite funny

Saturday, July 05, 2003

You don't have to be black to be a nigger.
Guess I found out why most people ignore me when I go to gallery openings.
It's not really personal; it's because I'm the tech guy. When the show opens the artists are transformed into fluttering art-stars, and the last thing they want to remember is some techie who for a while held their fate in his trembling hands because he was the only one who could put their video onto tape, while they were busy cracking up on nerves and working the cell phone. When the show opens such trifle matters are no longer important, including the people associated with them. It's nothing personal.

Thursday, July 03, 2003

The biggest scam.
Recently it occurred to me that about 2/3´rds of the time spend doing anything involving computers are spend dealing with interruptions created by the computer or it's software; malfunctions, requests for login and passwords, program crashes, loss of data that has to be re created, etc. After more than ten years of working with computers I'm considered a "super user" - another of this cultures ridiculous cartoon words - and still I have to deal with these problems on a daily basis.
The revolution will not be televised - because it never happened.