I Kant get started...
I guess it's a classical dilemma:
What to do - you feel you don't quite fit in and you basically have two options:
-Adapt yourself and your ways to the surrounding norms and you will fit in and be accepted (hopefully...the Pavlovian approach: good doggie gets a snackie, bad doggie gets no snackie - this also leaves all the hard work to you but the basic control of your situation somewhere else)
-Go somewhere where you fit in the way you are...
(this leaves out the hard work and gives the control to you, except...)
You have to first find out what you are in order to find the right place to go!
(and then we're back to the hard work...)
-And that's the beauty of blogging: any crackpot with a modem can clog up the web with home grown philoshophy like this! yowsa, yowsa, yowsa!