Wednesday, October 18, 2006

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My (liberal) newspaper's job-section has this useful list for the employees who are thinking about going for some of those tasty management positions, filled with power, prestige, ego boosting, blowjobs (giving not getting, that is...)
- if you have the competitive and predatory spirit it takes, remember to:

-ALWAYS laugh when the boss tells a joke
(funny or not, he's the one with the finger on the FIRED button...)
-NEVER make fun of the boss or other minorities
(the boss as a minority, exactly the sort of thing democracy teaches us to protect and preserve? - hello NEWSPEAK...)
-Poke fun at yourself ("...Down, doggy, down...")
-NEVER take yourself to serioursly, we're all born with a naked tush
(no smart Alecks here, buster, you're a TEAMPLAYER!)
-Exaggerations and understatements are simple ways to make jokes
(don't make it hard on yourself using your imagination or other pinko-commie stuff)
-Stay oriented, and joke about current events, topping the bestseller's are books about cooking, and loosing weight...(gully gee: PARADOX!)
-Use common references, like the fact that smoking is prohibited at school, but the first thing they make you do in art class is an ashtray...
(I'm about to wet my pants over this one!)

Be a popular guy and stay employed - why didn't I think of that?..

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Potnoodles.
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Retro babe
Panzer Jagdpanzer IV
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Not my people
Not my war

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